Dontbederteh!

I read Jessica Zafra's article on Duterte as the id that gives voice and lakas ng loob to many Filipinos who see him as the bright future of our country. I like it. Jessica is bright! 

This reminds me of behavior challenges that we teachers meet in the classroom. Most of the time, these children's problem is the lack of self regulation. Thus impulsivity. And to a large extent, abusive behavior. 

Most of the time, this behavior leads to indiscriminate acts that can hurt others around them but in the end, this behavior sabotages the person himself. 

And I am writing about children. Without effective interventions, their gifts and their potential cannot be fully developed or realized. 

These people who could be great leaders can also be great threats. Their impulsivity, lack of self regulation, discernment and reflective thinking may be effective in situations that call for actions like jumping from a cliff to save himself or heroically save someone else's life without regard for danger. No thinking required. 

On the other hand, this kind of behavior active for 24 hours in 6 years, exposes this person and everyone around him to great danger.  Think of the entire nation, not one province but 7100 islands. if this personality happens to be the President of the Philippnes, the magnitude of danger is immense. 

And then as an educator, it also gives me a problem. How will I rewrite the entire values education program that is hinged on all the different academic areas?  How will I be effective in teaching my students a simple life-rule: "no bad words". How about democracy? It is not just freedom of speech and press but also due process? How will parents be assured that when their children stand up for what's true, that they will not be in danger of execution or barbaric and dictatorial "justice"?

If I will have another dictator in my lifetime- it will have to be someone who stands for universal goodness. One who does not love to kiss women and sit them on his lap ( i wonder why these girls allow it!) but one who respects the image of every woman, man and children. 

There is only one great dictator that I know of and he ruled with might, wisdom, unquestionable discernment and loved his wife and was loyal to her like his commander. (Hahahaha!) 

But Lee Kuan Yew is dead. So no chance for another one. The rest will just be dictators and tyrants. No way is Duterte close to that. His rule will be one amateurish act whose ways may work for some but definitely not for me. 

I will wait for the the true leaders in the future. Maybe not in this era. Meanwhile, I hope that schools will not have a problem with inconsistency between what is taught and what is seen. 

And that goes to all the presidentiables!!

Love is the Greatest Energy

I am about to finish a painting I abandoned a few days ago but any excuse to not to is more than welcome. So i distracted myself from the moment's goal and decided that i will blog instead. 

Since today is Valentine's Day, I am remembering all the people (past and present, dead and alive, active and inactive) I love and who love or loved, me. 

I look past the moment now and remember with longing and gratitude those who loved me the most while they were here with me. 

Today, I visited my daughter for a healthy breakfast of granola, hopia, fried egg and banana and to return the gremlins who slept over in my house last night. 

Marie brought her funny girls while Yaya Lyn brought Lucy to visit too. 

And I thought that seeing and being with all the gremlins and funny girls is a testimony of love in action which brings joy and nourishment and gratitude. Knowing that I tried to be a good parent and seeing my children try their best in being good parents is a Happy Valentine's day for me. 

I'm sure about my old and on-off valentine and the partner I chose to raise this family with know that we are blessed. 

Ziva contemplating on life and intensely sending loving thoughts to her Daddy. 

Mother knows best

A mother knows her offspring more than anybody. She knows her child's dispositions and predispositions. She can't be wrong about her child's nature but how this child would become or would choose to be as an adult is his doing. 

Raising children sitting down

After all, when we can't reach something, we use extenders:  a long pole, a stool, a ladder or a willing pair of shoulders - or cable cars to reach the other mountain sitting down.

I had an aunt we called Kaka.  Beautiful woman with a big heart and bosom that offered comfort when my mother was away. The oldest sister of my mom.  She took everything sitting down - literally and figuratively. 

We were her extension and so her pair of canes too. She was my mom's extension. She was our miracle. 

You would think that a person with a pair of shrunken and crippled legs would have no use to the world?  They have hearts too and eyes and hands and a voice.

So she raised us when our parents were away.  She raised me more than she raised my siblings who came before me.  It was in the year that I was born when all things good and abundant kept my parents away from home making sure that they take care of the business.  My youngest brother became her beloved as well.

I learned to sweep the floor through her.  She cooked for us while she sang.  She taught us how to be compassionate and forgiving and tender and to appreciate beauty.  And taught us independence.  And she was never bitter.  We knew the songs of the 50's through her.

My eldest brother used to say:  " I will look for a girl with the beauty of Mommy and the heart of Kaka." 

My confidante growing up and my critique too.  I spent summer afternoons with her pulling a few strands of gray hair while she listened to my endless stories.

My older sister had my mother's youngest sister as fairy godmother and gained all favors from her.   I was my Kaka's little girl and mentee who climbed trees and ran around and jumped, knelt while I ate, had frog's legs while she did not and could not be what I could and I am with my legs.  She showed me how while sitting down. 

How my mom loved her too!

Another Ant Day

After a birthday getog celebrating the roundedness of a six year old ant, the laziest and coolest in this story house, this is what looks like from outside this morning. 

Husband ant Daddy Lloyd leaves the house at 6 while wife ant Mommy Ana is giving her mommy words to the 3 ants. Busy day ahead, as usual for the ant residents. 

It is a quiet start and promises of return with some pasalubong.  

Just like in all anthomes, the story goes day after day, rain or shine. 

Raising a bright and exciting child

Paula Capanas was a HEDCen Student and a happiness guru

Pls dont buy your kids i phones, i pads and the like. Not yet.

Please get them things they can build. 

Please make them watch the rain too. 

Pls make them sweat chasing each other   

Please teach them to listen to adults and abide by rules fir their safety. 

Please make things for them. 

Please tell them stories from your own experiences. 

Please teach them how to smile  

And show them how to take care of fragile and delicate things

And eat vegetables

And wash their feet...
wash their hands

and gargle in the morning...

I wonder what they'd say

Lucy

Creating memories with my granddaughters include our adventures with flowers, butterflies, lizards, birds, grass or trees, sounds around them, colors, textures, shapes, taste and scents. 

This I hope will create a lasting bond between my granddaughters and me long after they are parents themselves. 

Sofia

I hope they'd say that they had a crazy and wild woman as their Ima. 

Ziva

that their Ima was cool and that she rocked. 

Robin

I would not really know what they'd say in my eulogy but I am sure they will take care of their children the way they were raised. 

And that they will all be gorgeous like me.  

Prudence and imagination

Today is chips day and saturday is sweet day. This is a simple house rule but hard to follow. Look where you go. Watch your steps. Slippers are left outside. Follow the rules. 

The first one is for the grandfather since he can be lavish and is prone to host a feast daily. I copied Marie's weekly menu. The funnygirls get their dose of sweets 

on Saturdays.

Justo bumps into corners because he looks the other way when walking. He is a hopeless "uzi". There was no need to tell others to watch their steps until Justo. 

A cockroach or two used to but when babies began to crawl on my floor, no other living thing survived when spotted. 

Everyone learned to leave the damned slippers outside including the fathers of these babies. 

Of course following the rules is a rule. It is a contract. It is a love agreement whether they all agree or not!

Nobody wants to be put back together with nylon or silk or gold stitches. Or mangled under a running vehicle dear God forbid!!!  So watch where you go. 

Not growing up without boundaries is dangerous. We can't wrap mouths with barb wires when they develop wrong appetite for food. Or any addiction in the future for that matter. 

The only thing that can grow wild and unlimited is imagination. Sadly there is no pill for it.  

Jacob asked me last night: "should we always be wearing pajamas even in summer?" That is because he had been wearing pajamas nightly ever since he can remember. This was no rule but because it was consistent, he thought it was. 

Rules become habits when consistent. The set of rules that are observed consistenly under a specific condition they were created become a habit and a way of life. 

Rules are meant to be purposeful and logical:

why leave your slippers by the door when the floor is dirtier than your slippers? 

if stores don't sell chips everyday then it wouldn't be a problem. It is in every mini mart that operates 24/7. Given that it's bad and also....good in a bad way. 

Oh and more from Ka Justo to Jacob when he woke up:  

don't panic

Walang reklamo ( no complaints)

No whining

just musing..

Are Dreams for Keeping?

Today, i wanted to paint flowers around town, on decayed walls, on pavements, on bus stops, train stations, waiting areas, jeepneys, billboards or the sky perhaps. Anywhere people stare blankly or with lots in their minds. Just to shift focus from trouble to hope, from anger to peace, from numbness to life. 

Today i wanted to write my book "myLiFeaSApiTcHEr" and ask Gilda to do the forword. I wanted to find out how much or how little I can share with people whose purpose is to raise people better than themselves. 

This dawn while my eyes were still closed I thought of those and many more till this moment now as I seize what remains of the half asleep-half awake dreams. 

Who are you with in your dreams and when you wake up?  In my case, I found the gremlins beside me and the thick one was even snoring. 

Remember Me

I remember as a child crying  at night just thinking that my mother will die.

And each time I listened to the song "Mama", I would cry too. 

When i found out that my mother had terminal cancer, I wished everyday that I would wake up from that nightmare. 

I missed her letters, her roast turkey, her brews, her voice, her laughter, her soft skin... when everything about Mary stopped! 

Then magically, life flowed like a river again and I found myself braving the world without her and continuing through all the lessons that she left me with. 

When i paint roses, they are for her. When i watch my daughter brewing things, I see her. When i spend money and time on useless things, i hear her. I feel her when i am in a beautiful garden. I see her hands in mine. 

Remembering her by remembering me. 

Raising good parents in modern times

taken after the baptism of Justo and Ziva (seated l-r) Sugar with Justo and Sofia, Mommy Eli with Ziva, me with Jose and Jacob,  Vitty & Marie, my sister Eleanor, Juaqui & Anne, Lloyd & Ana

What did i know when i was a young parent myself? Not as much as i do know now but i let my heart and love for my children and how i was raised guide me.

1.  I know intuitively that the best way to teach is to show them how : how to be brave when they are afraid and hurt. 

2.  To laugh till they burst at the seams and not to take themselves seriously. Who is perfect anyway? Laugh together and remember to tell good stories- fiction or factual, but always tell the truth. 

3. To give their best effort on what's important to them especially on things that will be important to others. 

4.  To eat their food and to waste not. 

I watch my grandchildren grow and i am a witness to good parenting by my daughter and two sons as they raise their own funny and wise and brave little ones. 

Old Stock

Some children are born with a past.

That's why they are called "old souls".  Old soul or  old stock,  I am suspecting that I have several of them noisy and funny when awake and still noisy and funny when asleep ( they have such active minds that they sleep talk and even converse with each other).

The difference with one "old" soul I know is that he remembers some of his past it seems.

This little person is like someone old from the province- like some people I have met before.

He started his words earlier than 11 months.  These were English words.

He stopped talking before he turned one.  When he re-started, he spoke in Tagalog.

'Thank you Salamat!"
"Ang init! Uulan!"
"Usok" "Palaka" "Gunting" are words that are normally spoken in the household in their English translation but he prefers the tagalog words.

One day, he told his Daddy:  "Alam mo, hindi ikaw and Daddy ko.  Patay na ang daddy ko. Ang Daddy ko ay lolo na." (you know, you are not my Daddy.  My (real) daddy is already dead.  He is an old grandfather.)

One afternoon he told me this: "Ima may gustong sabihin mga aso mo.  Hirap na hirap na daw sila.  Di sila happy." (Grandma, your dogs want to tell you something.  They are having a difficult time.  They are not happy.) "Narinig mo sabi ko sayo?" (Did you hear what I just said?)

And today, during Pacquiao-Mayweather fight, he advised my sister-in-law not to bear the fight:  "Kung natatakot ka (manood), uwi ka na lang?" (If you are scared (to watch the fight) why don't you go home?)

There's another one. This one is perhaps a nun in her past life:  Sister Ziva who is 2 weeks younger than 3-year old "Ka Justo" ( a title given as a sign of seniority to someone old ) advised the same sister-in-law: "You know when I'm scared of the movie, I pray!

Ziva and Justo hardly talk to each other because of language difference.  They just hold hands. Yet there is something in common...

This musing was so badly written that i had to rewrite and revise. Brain malfunction happened after the Paquiao fight. 

5 things of wonder

I started a homemade workshop for my gremlins yesterday. Upon waking up, they will be asked to notice at the most 5 things that catch their attention.

I started with Jose,5 yesterday. We sat down by the pond before 6 am. We listened to the birds and just simply talked. Then i handed him my phone and told him to take a photo of 5 things that he finds beautiful or interesting.

  

Today, i asked Jacob, 7 to do the same thing. Here are his photos. 

They took more than 5 photos- meaning that they saw more than 5 things of wonder.  

I am amazed by what they have inside of them. More to come...

Catching Ziva

Last night's guest of honor was Funny girl Ziva with her Ate Sofia who is a regular. The 3J's are mainstays. 

I lured her with stories that did not make sense but children can always make sense out of our nonsense! 

So my effort for the night was a big seal of approval from a very discriminating little person. She fell asleep figuring out my stories. Sweet dreams I guess. 

She woke up as bright as the morning sun.

growing like the giant beanstalk

Sunlight and lots of love  make a child grow. Tough love does the trick too. Balancing the brain, body, heart and soul is a holistic approach to raising a spiritual and authentic child.

And yes, they need a strong family affinity but one that does not suffocate and inhibit a sense of self. 

#100daysofmusings 1/100

We need fire to forge, shape and reshape.  Raising the young requires passion, determination, persistence and devotion, courage and en"courage"ment.  Let us sing 'em no more lullabye as it will only put them to sleep. They have to be awake to realize their dreams.

So that afternoon of April 25, during our commencement exercises sending off the graduating elementary and high school students, I changed course.  No adoration and sweet talk as this special batch of potential achievers needs to reflect on things that should matter.

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Opening Address

April 25, 2015

“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future” – J.R.R. Tolkien

Congratulations...

To note, for the school year 2014-2015 that is ending, there are 32 candidates for graduation in Grade 6 and 31 in Fourth Year.

This year’s grade 6 is 1 year short of the prescribed 6 years of elementary.  If the K to 12 program  will not go awry or kaput, they will have to go through an extra year as G12. 

Is this batch ready for High School?  They should be.

Let us take a look at the seniors.  Nothing was altered.  6 years in elementary and 4 in high school, but before that,  two to three years in Preschool.  Are you ready to face the world?  This world that will tempt you to try to be different or be like everyone else except yourself?   That is precisely the purpose of your education but how you are going to use it to arm you is something I cannot predict.

One more question:

Will you be a wonderful contribution to your country and fellowmen?   I hope so.

Honestly, do you think that your HEDCen education will matter when you go to your respective universities or to a different high school?

In the years that you were in HEDCen, what was your greatest challenge? Your all-time difficulties?  Whatever it is or was, are or were,  there is only YOU at the bottomline. No devil.  No other reason other than the failure to understand and respond to who you are, your compulsions and demons.  Your nature.  You are your greatest ally or nemesis.  Spiderman knows that.

Another question:  Will you buckle down at the slightest sign of difficulty or will you own up and get up and revise, reinvent or re-align if needed? Will you desire nothing else but to learn from your valuable mistakes to become a better person? a changed individual?

I have endless questions but meanwhile I am not giving you any accolade yet,  just  because you are graduating today.   

Dapat lang. (That is to be expected.) 

Dapat lang na makatapos ng pag-aaral.  (It is to be expected that you finish your studies if you have the resources.)  

Dapat lang na maipagpatuloy sa unibersidad.  (It is to be expected that you continue to tertiary level.) Dapat lang maging college scholar. (It is right to expect that you rise to the highest form of achievement like getting a college scholarship if you try hard enough and if you set your goal high enough.)   Have an ambition.  Do not fear hard work and adversities.

Dapat, ang pag-aaral ay buong buhay – o ika nga “life-long, sa paaralan man o labas nito.  (Education should be life-long whether it be inside a classroom or out of it.)  

Dapat ding umiwas sa masasama, sa pang-aapi, sa pandaraya, katamaran o sa pag wawalang bahala.  Anong tawag dun?  ++++++ (Habitual callousness and  insensitivity to the needs around you should be shunned especially those that take the form of cheating, indolence, or simply the devil-may-care attitude.)

Wag mayabang.  Wag mamili kung sino ang irerespeto. Irespeto ang lahat ng nilalang. Di lang kayo ang maalam.  Huwag maliitin ang inyong mga makakasalamuha.  (Don’t be arrogant.  Don’t choose who to respect or disrespect.  All creatures and beings, including everyone here, YOU deserve to be respected. The lowliest and the greatest share the same air and place under the sun.  

For the people you have hurt or have taken for granted, now is the time to look back with gratitude and to seek their forgiveness, for we must start fresh and clean to be able to carry their blessings on our back when we seek our adventures outside this school.

This is after all,  the essence of the graduation theme that  you have chosen:  "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future".

Enough said, these final notes however, are not by Tolkien...

“May the Force be with you.” and “may you live long and prosper”!   

Have a wonderful life ahead of you Graduates and congratulations!!

Adieu!

 thank you.

The Middle Child

What mystery envelops a middle child?
Is he really more complicated than the first and the third?
Born after the first child who became the first experimental baboon to parents who knew little,
the second one was born with a degree of knowledge and experience which the eldest child provided these anxious beginners.

Then why the supposed syndrome?
This child of woe and complication was raised by parents who knew more, whose mastery of the craft of parenting has afforded them less sweaty palms and armpits.
Then why does this child of complexity raise such challenge and concern?

This child is between two siblings.  One taught him the ways while the third showed him how he is stronger and wiser.

He is not ever taken for granted.  He cannot be taken for granted because he will not allow it.  He is either a child who feels persecuted and thinks that nothing he gets is better than the rest, but he is also the offspring who loves the best, who defends his Kuya and who allows his baby brother to treat him like his toy bear.  He cannot be taken for granted because in the same manner that he gives the sweetest love,  he also demands that he is loved like there are no others.

The middle child can be the rainbow and the bright sun but can also be the thunderstorm.   And when he is all thunder and lightning, how he disarms his mother is a gift.

He prefers the villains over the heroes and sees the excitement and challenge over the despised, evil characters and how the heroes can be really boring indeed!

Yet his prayers are the most sensitive and comes out from him as a natural expression of his heart and soul - "dear God, thank you for the sand in the beach" and after he has taken our breath away and melted us in the warmth of such grace,  he'd jolt us all from revery with "thank you for my BAD brother" with a laughter that can only come from a very familiar and easy relationship with the God he knows. 

He boxed a schoolmate the other day, this middle child.  He said he had been forgiven.  Then why do the adults fuss over the incident?  He cried for an hour when he was told by his mother that parents will come the next day to reprimand him for hurting their son.  He had to learn a lesson and the elders were worried except for his grandfather who took him to his lap with so much love.

We do not know what will work but I know that this middle child will sort it out for himself.  Someone's gotta break 'em rules sometimes, and he is curious and daring enough- except that this time, the principal will be called in her very own office!

Maybe his daddy will see the principal.

The Problem with Grandparents

I am Ima and she is Lucy

1.  Grandparents have to be incarcerated.
They commit crimes like harassment, kidnapping, smothering, crippling and corruption.

Remember this face:  pudgy with a very sweet smile. If you encounter this person, she is a criminal!  This group of elderly citizens have learned to text too and are quite obscene.  Yet when you meet them in school, they smile at you with twinkling eyes!  They have a code name just like Agent 007.  Some are called Mimi, Mamita, Mama Yana, Abuelita, Lolita, Lola Doo,..They harass teachers, guards, principals, canteen personnel and the poor janitor. They also harass the poor parents of the child when they fail to bring the grandchildren on weekends or on daily occasions.

This one goes inside a guarded gate wearing a granny coat pretending to be cold.  She goes out the gate bulkier and with 4 legs.  She has decided to kidnap the poor grandchild from her PE class.

It is not surprising to see or sometimes not notice children being whisked off their porches or while playing on the street by an old driver of a sedan or limousine or taken by a frumpy lady with an umbrella and a paper bag riding a tricycle! 

Smothering is a common crime.  Children don't even have to breathe.  The grandparents can do that for them.  The little imps can't sweat, can't fall, can't get scratched.   They are smothered to perfection until the grandchildren, not the olds end with paralysis. Of course I am exaggerating. 

Bribing is corruption.  Children are introduced to this early signs of corruption from a barter of kiss and candies, sleep-over and toys, and many more combinations.

I can't blame poor grandpa.  AA or apo addiction is an indication of mental disorder.  The symptoms are hair loss, cranky fingers and redundancy.  When he starts getting delusional, grandpa thinks he is cold.  He piles up all the grandchildren to sleep on the bed easing out grandma.  The last one is premeditated.

 2.  Grandparents therefore, should  be institutionalized.
They can be delusional, compulsive liars and make people around them suffer from their paranoia.
Do I need to expound?

Grandma to the PE teacher:  She can't go under the sun.  She gets skin asthma, bronchial asthma, fried brains, hip dysplasia and warts!  She started hyperventilating since you made her chase that ball!

What is with PE?  How come Grannies hate it?

G:   Oh no, I did not give her chocolates!  Why will I do that? and no ice-cream!  Those are not allergies!  They are insect bites! You don't close your windows and doors that's why!

G:   Her teacher is a witch.  She is evil!  Then why would my grandchild be taught to hold a broom?

Impo, the greatgrandmother with J1,2,3

3.  Grandparents have to undergo speech therapy among other things.

Grandpa:  Come, let's go ah babath then ah wawipe.  Ah cow! Ah cow! (pointing to a carabao)  No bebe.  Ah go ako ah stor. A-sama? (I'm going to the store.  Are you coming?)

Guilty or Not Guilty?

NOT Guilty. Guilty of loving and over-loving.  Can't give enough.  But what are grandparents for?  they were made to do all these stuff.  To love their grandchildren without conditions and without limits.  To give till their last centavo.  Otherwise they are useless beings!

I buy toys but very rarely, and when I ask what they want for their birthday, the response is faster than the quick brown fox:  your heart and your love!!

Then this:
Grandpa:  Will buy toys tomorrow?  We can bring Ima.

breakfast in Frogglerocks

J:   Can we not tell Ima we are getting some toys?

Fried bananas, corn on the cob over red hotdogs?  

How corny can one get? 

This grandparent breaks a lot of rules and does not always follow the code of conduct and SOP's of these dry-skinned and flatulent members of the Apos-tolic Order.  She is guilty of homicide and first degree murder: code KJ!

I love this day

they serve themselves fried saba when I'm on duty

Cirque du Soleil

Grandparents are the only criminals who can get away with their crimes.  They are quite easy to pardon too.  The parents of these grandchildren have no choice anyway, even if they have promised repeatedly to their heart of hearts that they will not give the old folks the chance to spoil their kids.  (They are normally adamant with their first child. The resoluteness changes after a string of babies come!  You know...)

Regardless, the insensitve lolo and lola accused of spoiling and condemned to stay in the corner, endure the torture and in the tiniest opportunity welcome watching over the apos when the good parents are busy with work or when they are on break- anytime.

So we pray for all grandparents okay?  Pray that their eyes won't fail them when they serve fish for dinner.  That's why, I know a grandpa who would rather givem lil ones, warmdogs!

Mommy Eli

Mommy Eli with her oldest granddaughter and beloved great grandchildren

Mommy and Sugar, her eldest son

87 going 88!  double infinity!

Her life is well-spent on meticulous cleanliness and knock-out sense of order.
She could be immovably right on politics, world events, people, weather, religion and history! Her collection of books (she read all of them) is astonishingly BIG SCALE.

She loves beautiful things and has the extraordinary ability to turn a small space into a palace,  and a wide area into a sanctuary.  She is the ultimate manager and CEO.  With 11 pregnancies and 8 children, she is a SUPERMOM!  In her youth, she was a celebrated beauty and brains a.k.a. "Supladang Ely" written on electric posts or carved out on trees, masterminded by suitors and admirers who never got to the first base.  

She believes in chocolates as panacea for moody dispositions and if you are a "yummymummy", (is that how they call alternative moms?) you are in for a good sermon on why children should have a dose of chocolates! She has a cupboard full of nuts and candies,  jellies, cookies and chocolates just for all her great grandchildren.  She loves them tremendously that the sight of them would make her smile in spite of unbearable pain!  

I have lost my own mother, Mary to cancer 28 years ago.  She was only 67.  Having witnessed Ely's long and healthy life, I think I will know how to live beyond 80.  Still not sure though if I want it.

I would not have known and appreciated myself better had I been her all time favorite, but I would like to believe that I.AM. now.  Oh I love her when she loves me!



 She surprised me with a love that only my mother could give, the last time I was sick.  She came up to Antipolo very often to bring food she cooked in spite of the inconvenience of travel, only to cheer me up.  She was worried for me!  She even endured an excruciatingly long pray-over that made her rheumatic arm shake while holding her hand over my head.  That and Sister Bernadette's act paved way for a miracle because of a formidable faith.

So why do I write this?  It is because I do not want to forget anything that should be remembered.  Every person's life that we witness is like a book of knowledge and wisdom. My second mother, Eli, who braves living life this long, has been such a blessing to us, to me.  Such difference our parents make when they stand with their trembling and aching knees as parents for as long as they can hold, to show us strength when they are weak and to give us answers to questions that only they could provide.  They hold the key to our existence and no matter how long we have lived, we will always be our parents' sons and daughters and she, the light and glue of the family. So Mighty Bond Mommy, cheers to more years!!

Long live Eli!

Why There's Rain

gentle and strong

The adversity quotient is that kind of intelligence that makes men and women survive the most difficult challenges in life and is nipped by mothers, fathers and grandparents who are raising dough but not humen.

Children raised in a very limiting environment grow up with a very limited perspective and very low endurance threshold.  Parents do not realize this, but they are crippling their sons with the wrong kind of love, when children should be falling, tripping, getting dirty, coming home hungry, smelly, running under the sun, getting soaked in the rain, being rejected in a soccer try-out, failing exams, committing mistakes... 

Me: Do we think that being OA (over-acting) or dramatic will earn us the Famas Award or Oscars as the Best Mother in Comedy?

Boys can be taught to clean-up the mess they make, rise after a fall, try again when things do not go as planned and try better if he failed again. They should be taught to solve their problems, communicate, mend the tear in their shirt, sew buttons, plant a garden, raise a pet and be high in music, a job well done, a challenge well fought.  

The father of my children was very patient especially when he was younger :D  when our children needed to be brought to school, to soccer games and to soirees.  He carried my daughter who was very sick then throughout their jeepney commute to the hospital and back, week after week.  He went to market, he cooked and he ran a business.

He cried at my daughter's wedding, built her house, and loved all his grandchildren to a fault.

You:  Maybe that is why he has forgotten all our wedding anniversaries! 

All these did not make him less of a man. 

My father and my brothers were/are men of great accomplishments not only in the careers or vocations they have chosen but even more in their diligence as fathers of their family.  They developed their inner value that is beyond fame and money to that which transcends the ordinary image of a male or macho man.

These men that I have known have faults but they are alright.  They do not abuse women nor do they escape from what is difficult in life.  My sons and son-in-law have even exceeded the bar that the great men in the family have set.  That makes me proud.


These men fell from stairs, from walls, broke their bones, got hungry, were bullied, were poor at one time of their lives, wore broken shoes, smelled flowers, carried their babies, were "men for others", were not always right but were always kind.  They played in the mud, built something from scratch, handled maggot infested horse manure, bore the sweltering heat of the sun and got drenched in the rain.  They stayed in their tasks as well. 


Moral:
  The reason why there are husbands who quit is because they never got wet in the rain.

You:     That's a wild hypothesis.
Me:      But why would some men, fathers, sons and brothers quit their jobs?
You:     Blimey!