Christmas in the making

The beginning of the congea season.

A festive table setting

and presents in red and green


angel wings on my garden

signs that Christmas is in the making!

birds are waiting...

Edgardo: for Maritess and all his friends

The last time i saw him in a picture dressed to the hilt was in his daughter Kay's wedding. If I did not know he is no longer earth bound, i would have thought for a while that this is my dear diko dancing with a lady.

No More Queso de Bola for Christmas?

Oct 28, '09 11:33 PM

While I recall,
you had the sweetest smile
and eyes that glinted fire
angel hair
very tall
very strong
very bright
dashing in fact...

quite sensitive
funny
morbid
thoughtful
pensive.

While I recall
you came to visit me
with our weird sister,
your best friend.

we offered whispers
and candies to some entities in my garden.
(that is our sister's idea
of how i can be cured of my weird ailments)
again a game we played like children
as adults
and that was the last.

i dont see your face with your jeep at the pier when we visit
i dont hear from you anymore.
i dont read from you either
nor do you nag me for chocolates now.

I have this thought
that maybe this christmas you will not be around anymore either?
so goodbye queso de bola?

maybe dad is right at weeping when he misses you.
I just cannot get there yet
but i miss you.

we miss you.
i will miss you on my birthday
Happy will miss you on hers
Kaye will miss her dada when she gives birth
and as we live on earth
you will miss the floods
the presidential elections
the planting and harvesting of your crop
the court proceedings
hunger
pain
sorrow

for you will have something else better, greater, more beautiful
where you are.

i  bid you goodbye as you bid me goodbye while i write this.
you have fun
that's alright.

bye

Tags: diko, children, precious moments, change of season

http://imatruelove.multiply.com/journal/item/24/no_more_queso_de_bola_for_christmas

Little Girls in Grandma's gowns: surviving death of a loved one

two widows in the group of giggling schoolgirls
everyone talking about grandchildren
these little girls wearing grandmother's gowns
in a funeral parlor.

whispers of dis-eases
and of dreams and hopes
to dance
and to lose weight in two years,
after a tearful huddle
of saying goodbyes

for now.

there will be better times
a promise to meet again when sorrow's been comforted.


Gina, leaving our love with you in this moment of grief

lest I forget: for Sofia Soleil, my first star

remembering...

        skin
        eyes

       hair
       sound

       scent

remembering now because
another skin
another eyes
will share the same bright sky

another voice will be heard.


...remembering the joy of the first born star!

tiny, delicate fingers
wisps of sunkissed hair
wing-like lashes
cheeks of cherries...


and now, I remember you all over again when I saw your twin star
so much like you
and yet different.

remembering you in my memories of sunny days
and starlit skies.

:)

 "light up your face with gladness... smile"

 

lullaby

I can only say this now.
Now that breaths are back
After days of dark.
groping, gasping, heaving...

hope
courage
persistence

...and Mercy
Divinely keeping the light aflame.

where did we come from?
where do we go from here?


There is a reason for this
and the reason could be as explicit as the sun in the daytime
as cyclical as the rise and fall of the moon
or as simple as the clouds
or as essential as the air.

We are here on second chances
and we can resist and bargain
for the One as great as HE, will not mind
when we do for HE is never offended
by human weakness.

so I bargained for days
and said, No Sir, we will not give back.
... and that was just a bluff
for deep inside, we can only let go to get there.

and we did!
no papers signed, just love overflowing
given without conditions.

and i sing...
sleep soundly now
rest your head upon my breast
little one, little smile
little heart full of courage
mommy is not gonna leave you
close your eyes
little one
dream of angels and rainbows
angel wings bring you dreams
sweet sounds of bells, ring-a-ling
little one, sweetly slumber.

JUSTO

 Dear everdearest Musto Judo,

The mighty! the good!  the strong!  the handsome! the bright! the brave!  You are so loved and by even more than those who loved Kuya, because you have Ima and Ors, Mimi, Daddy Lolo, your mom and dad and now 2 brothers: Kuya Jacob. Diko Chew and your cousin Sofia + a lot more.  

Your brothers waited for you to come out to this world.  They called you Judd and Chinto before Diko started calling you "Musto". 

That is why, you have to be strong and fight the bacteria in your lungs! Like Kuya Jacob's Optimus Prime, "Destroy the enemies" and as your Diko's ternasarut rex "RAaaWrrr",  show your fangs!  You have Mommy's milk and that is the best medicine, so you have to keep feeding!

When you wake up from this battle inside your body,  Ima is waiting at home.   Diko Chew can't wait to show you more "saurus" and your Kuya Ironman the firefighter, to protect you.

Your guardian angel is there watching over you.      We do not see it, but I know that Jesus with Mother Mary cradle you when Mommy is tired. I am sure that you are surrounded with them in your hospital room.Your Dad is a fervent Pray-er. 

The bamboo tree outside my windows, the kingfishers, the river beside Frogglerocks, and oh, the beautiful butterflies, including the fuzzy wuzzy caterpillars as well as the slimy snails are all sending their twinkles and golden sparkles to you.  I can't wait to show you all of them! But first,  be patient...

I miss cradling and cuddling you for now but I will sit tight. ahuhhmmmm...mmmmm...Be well as you rest and as you breathe. Come home soon.



Ima
(and everyone from Frogglerocks and Anthill)

sexyty!

When we met:
140 lbs. waist was 34.
size 9 Adidas and Puma.
no other watch but Rolex.
drove a Datsun limousine.
wore corduroys and a pair of RED socks!

One daughter and two sons later:
worked like a horse
chose the road less travelled: integrity, honesty and unwavering idealism

Limousine gone.
Rolex given up.

In between:
still loved Beatles
snored and 180 pounds more

200! 220! size 11 generic rubber shoes 4.5 liters of coke a day
the best grandpa in the whole universe of Jacob, Jose, Sofia
best coach, best dad, best boyfriend
coked, cooked, ate, loved, lived!

Jacob, Jose, Sofia, Justo and another pretty girl coming soon
weighing 178, blood sugar controlled
blood pressure is great
cholesterol to be envied
one and only Sugar
one and only Ors

My sweet sugar is sexyty!!
still in his thread-bare tees,
happy birthday Honey!
please, give me some money!!!

 May you outlive me and prosper!

to Heaven

 Today is Mary's birthday.  This is a sacred day observed by every Catholic I know.  My mother was called Mary by her college friends.  She was known as the fair Maria in her youth.  This blog is not about her, but the tangled pieces of connections there is in this strange land. 


 This is Manuel Sarabia Olympia - my Daddy.  He was born on September 8, 1919.  He would have been 91 today.

Daddy with my older sister, Eleanor

 This artful pose belongs to my eldest brother, Teddy.  He was born on September 8, 1946.  He would have been 65, today. Daddy was 65 when Kuya died.

Look.

Above, is my mother's tombstone.  They died a year apart.

In the past, my father and brother celebrated their birthdays together.  Now, they are also celebrating their death anniversaries at the same time. 

Today, I whispered Happy Birthday to the two men I looked up to when I was growing up.  There are times I wished I'd see them again, but two days ago, there was a butterfly on my bowl of shrimps and last night, a juvenile kingfisher took a perch on my window sill facing the river. 

==========
@<
/)
^
==========

And so I sent my prayers to these winged friends hoping that their flight will bring my thoughts and love to heaven.

view from the window

The dark night collected so much dewdrops for the early morn.  They glisten as they clung to the bamboo leaves.  I seemed to have heard them say:

Dewdrops:  Hurry, let us all fall into the ground before the sun takes us all away!
Wind:  I will help!  I can do it!
The mighty bamboo swayed as the wind blew and the dewdrops fell like rain.
Some dewdrops remained clinging to the leaves until the sun rose slowly to the east.

As the sunrays touched the leaves, the dewdrops changed into vapor, vanished into thin air, pure and unadulterated.

The dewdrops that fell into the ground receded as they got absorbed by the soft, moist soil.


These two groups of dewdrops managed to meet again at one time later on, found themselves in the same heavenly clouds floating across the ocean.

"Whew!" lamented the dewdrops who had to be summoned by the sun from the ground.  "Had to be purified, long process.  We thought we could be planted and grow like the bamboo..."

As I clasped my hands and raised my arms to salute the sun, I bowed and acknowledged God's omnipotence, and at the same time twinkled at how our minds take us to a surreal perspective.