The Middle Child

What mystery envelops a middle child?
Is he really more complicated than the first and the third?
Born after the first child who became the first experimental baboon to parents who knew little,
the second one was born with a degree of knowledge and experience which the eldest child provided these anxious beginners.

Then why the supposed syndrome?
This child of woe and complication was raised by parents who knew more, whose mastery of the craft of parenting has afforded them less sweaty palms and armpits.
Then why does this child of complexity raise such challenge and concern?

This child is between two siblings.  One taught him the ways while the third showed him how he is stronger and wiser.

He is not ever taken for granted.  He cannot be taken for granted because he will not allow it.  He is either a child who feels persecuted and thinks that nothing he gets is better than the rest, but he is also the offspring who loves the best, who defends his Kuya and who allows his baby brother to treat him like his toy bear.  He cannot be taken for granted because in the same manner that he gives the sweetest love,  he also demands that he is loved like there are no others.

The middle child can be the rainbow and the bright sun but can also be the thunderstorm.   And when he is all thunder and lightning, how he disarms his mother is a gift.

He prefers the villains over the heroes and sees the excitement and challenge over the despised, evil characters and how the heroes can be really boring indeed!

Yet his prayers are the most sensitive and comes out from him as a natural expression of his heart and soul - "dear God, thank you for the sand in the beach" and after he has taken our breath away and melted us in the warmth of such grace,  he'd jolt us all from revery with "thank you for my BAD brother" with a laughter that can only come from a very familiar and easy relationship with the God he knows. 

He boxed a schoolmate the other day, this middle child.  He said he had been forgiven.  Then why do the adults fuss over the incident?  He cried for an hour when he was told by his mother that parents will come the next day to reprimand him for hurting their son.  He had to learn a lesson and the elders were worried except for his grandfather who took him to his lap with so much love.

We do not know what will work but I know that this middle child will sort it out for himself.  Someone's gotta break 'em rules sometimes, and he is curious and daring enough- except that this time, the principal will be called in her very own office!

Maybe his daddy will see the principal.

The Problem with Grandparents

I am Ima and she is Lucy

1.  Grandparents have to be incarcerated.
They commit crimes like harassment, kidnapping, smothering, crippling and corruption.

Remember this face:  pudgy with a very sweet smile. If you encounter this person, she is a criminal!  This group of elderly citizens have learned to text too and are quite obscene.  Yet when you meet them in school, they smile at you with twinkling eyes!  They have a code name just like Agent 007.  Some are called Mimi, Mamita, Mama Yana, Abuelita, Lolita, Lola Doo,..They harass teachers, guards, principals, canteen personnel and the poor janitor. They also harass the poor parents of the child when they fail to bring the grandchildren on weekends or on daily occasions.

This one goes inside a guarded gate wearing a granny coat pretending to be cold.  She goes out the gate bulkier and with 4 legs.  She has decided to kidnap the poor grandchild from her PE class.

It is not surprising to see or sometimes not notice children being whisked off their porches or while playing on the street by an old driver of a sedan or limousine or taken by a frumpy lady with an umbrella and a paper bag riding a tricycle! 

Smothering is a common crime.  Children don't even have to breathe.  The grandparents can do that for them.  The little imps can't sweat, can't fall, can't get scratched.   They are smothered to perfection until the grandchildren, not the olds end with paralysis. Of course I am exaggerating. 

Bribing is corruption.  Children are introduced to this early signs of corruption from a barter of kiss and candies, sleep-over and toys, and many more combinations.

I can't blame poor grandpa.  AA or apo addiction is an indication of mental disorder.  The symptoms are hair loss, cranky fingers and redundancy.  When he starts getting delusional, grandpa thinks he is cold.  He piles up all the grandchildren to sleep on the bed easing out grandma.  The last one is premeditated.

 2.  Grandparents therefore, should  be institutionalized.
They can be delusional, compulsive liars and make people around them suffer from their paranoia.
Do I need to expound?

Grandma to the PE teacher:  She can't go under the sun.  She gets skin asthma, bronchial asthma, fried brains, hip dysplasia and warts!  She started hyperventilating since you made her chase that ball!

What is with PE?  How come Grannies hate it?

G:   Oh no, I did not give her chocolates!  Why will I do that? and no ice-cream!  Those are not allergies!  They are insect bites! You don't close your windows and doors that's why!

G:   Her teacher is a witch.  She is evil!  Then why would my grandchild be taught to hold a broom?

Impo, the greatgrandmother with J1,2,3

3.  Grandparents have to undergo speech therapy among other things.

Grandpa:  Come, let's go ah babath then ah wawipe.  Ah cow! Ah cow! (pointing to a carabao)  No bebe.  Ah go ako ah stor. A-sama? (I'm going to the store.  Are you coming?)

Guilty or Not Guilty?

NOT Guilty. Guilty of loving and over-loving.  Can't give enough.  But what are grandparents for?  they were made to do all these stuff.  To love their grandchildren without conditions and without limits.  To give till their last centavo.  Otherwise they are useless beings!

I buy toys but very rarely, and when I ask what they want for their birthday, the response is faster than the quick brown fox:  your heart and your love!!

Then this:
Grandpa:  Will buy toys tomorrow?  We can bring Ima.

breakfast in Frogglerocks

J:   Can we not tell Ima we are getting some toys?

Fried bananas, corn on the cob over red hotdogs?  

How corny can one get? 

This grandparent breaks a lot of rules and does not always follow the code of conduct and SOP's of these dry-skinned and flatulent members of the Apos-tolic Order.  She is guilty of homicide and first degree murder: code KJ!

I love this day

they serve themselves fried saba when I'm on duty

Cirque du Soleil

Grandparents are the only criminals who can get away with their crimes.  They are quite easy to pardon too.  The parents of these grandchildren have no choice anyway, even if they have promised repeatedly to their heart of hearts that they will not give the old folks the chance to spoil their kids.  (They are normally adamant with their first child. The resoluteness changes after a string of babies come!  You know...)

Regardless, the insensitve lolo and lola accused of spoiling and condemned to stay in the corner, endure the torture and in the tiniest opportunity welcome watching over the apos when the good parents are busy with work or when they are on break- anytime.

So we pray for all grandparents okay?  Pray that their eyes won't fail them when they serve fish for dinner.  That's why, I know a grandpa who would rather givem lil ones, warmdogs!

Mommy Eli

Mommy Eli with her oldest granddaughter and beloved great grandchildren

Mommy and Sugar, her eldest son

87 going 88!  double infinity!

Her life is well-spent on meticulous cleanliness and knock-out sense of order.
She could be immovably right on politics, world events, people, weather, religion and history! Her collection of books (she read all of them) is astonishingly BIG SCALE.

She loves beautiful things and has the extraordinary ability to turn a small space into a palace,  and a wide area into a sanctuary.  She is the ultimate manager and CEO.  With 11 pregnancies and 8 children, she is a SUPERMOM!  In her youth, she was a celebrated beauty and brains a.k.a. "Supladang Ely" written on electric posts or carved out on trees, masterminded by suitors and admirers who never got to the first base.  

She believes in chocolates as panacea for moody dispositions and if you are a "yummymummy", (is that how they call alternative moms?) you are in for a good sermon on why children should have a dose of chocolates! She has a cupboard full of nuts and candies,  jellies, cookies and chocolates just for all her great grandchildren.  She loves them tremendously that the sight of them would make her smile in spite of unbearable pain!  

I have lost my own mother, Mary to cancer 28 years ago.  She was only 67.  Having witnessed Ely's long and healthy life, I think I will know how to live beyond 80.  Still not sure though if I want it.

I would not have known and appreciated myself better had I been her all time favorite, but I would like to believe that I.AM. now.  Oh I love her when she loves me!



 She surprised me with a love that only my mother could give, the last time I was sick.  She came up to Antipolo very often to bring food she cooked in spite of the inconvenience of travel, only to cheer me up.  She was worried for me!  She even endured an excruciatingly long pray-over that made her rheumatic arm shake while holding her hand over my head.  That and Sister Bernadette's act paved way for a miracle because of a formidable faith.

So why do I write this?  It is because I do not want to forget anything that should be remembered.  Every person's life that we witness is like a book of knowledge and wisdom. My second mother, Eli, who braves living life this long, has been such a blessing to us, to me.  Such difference our parents make when they stand with their trembling and aching knees as parents for as long as they can hold, to show us strength when they are weak and to give us answers to questions that only they could provide.  They hold the key to our existence and no matter how long we have lived, we will always be our parents' sons and daughters and she, the light and glue of the family. So Mighty Bond Mommy, cheers to more years!!

Long live Eli!