90 Deadly Desire

I realized that I have not heard a canary song for months now. 

Do you believe in fatal energy? Mine was singing that morning before my daughter came to unload her frustration.  It was dead by 5pm. 

I have a señorita guava tree and it had fruits that made me very proud of being its mama. 

This unsuspecting guava tree was searched by the same woman conceiving her first born. I gave her guavas before that but you know how pregnancy can drive you wild.  Short of forcing each node in the tiny branches to sprout a guava, she searched and turned the leaves and branches up and down and sideways. 

That tree went barren for years. And the woman was banned. It's been fruiting again  but i can sense its fright to be an object of deadly desire once more. 

89

Have you cried a river?

When my son left to study abroad I did...

I went to my derma yesterday to have a cyst removed and she told me that her son was leaving for Australia to study Business. 

I told her she will manage and how it was like when my youngest son left. 

How can i be so insensitive? Yes she cried a river in front of me. 

88

Has any form of flying insect or gamu gamo entered your nostrils?  Without permission of course. 

Why would any insect do that? It is dark inside.  And it's most annoying. Long after it has flown out you still feel in your brain that it's there. 

Ear invasion is different. It is also not welcome and the most curious are the crawlers. The flyers are impulsive. And what do they expect to see inside? 

I heard a true story of ticks found inside the ear of a child much like how ticks cling unto dogs' ears. It was removed with a tiyani or a tweezor. 

Then there are the eye blinders. They dive into your eyes with blind determination. Don't they see it's an eye?

Mother knows best

A mother knows her offspring more than anybody. She knows her child's dispositions and predispositions. She can't be wrong about her child's nature but how this child would become or would choose to be as an adult is his doing. 

To the New and Renewing

I spoke to 14 teachers today. New and comebacking. Others just wanted to listen. 

Some recurring ideas i caught myself saying: 

Ants we don't kill. 

This is always symbolic. Spirit of young people, of children - we don't trample on. 

Openness

Before you make an oath, before you can become outstanding, before you start a belief you have to be open. 

This place is magic. There is real magic that is in this place. 

I don't expect you to be perfect 

I hope you learn from your mistakes

You need a plan 

What do you want to happen?

Yet i am convinced that I am saying them for the first time!!!

It was a 2- hour thing and yes i invited them to be gods and godesses of learning.  

... To live, love, teach fiercely. 

They were so kind. 

Ramil's heart

Ramil has little children and a vicious wife.  (How do you spell vicious?)

But he is kind and gentle. 

What could he be thinking?

His wife wants him to mind the kids while she goes ranting about life and about the lack of money.  Yet she wants him home. 

What is a poor man's diet?  Very little and a bonus is perhaps a wife beside him. 

There is not much food to fill one's stomach to make a difference in size after a meal but so much room to accommodate a stray cat i asked him to throw because it massacred my hamsters and my birds. 

He brought home a puppy nobody wanted. 

There is always a room in his palace. 

Shame shame on me. 

Oh Johnny oh!

His son died 2 weeks ago. He was forlorn. He went home to the province to bury him. He was back right after. His face was more gaunt than before and his eyes sadder. 

What could Johnny be thinking? 

Does a poor man hurt more?

Does he blame more than the one who has the means?

Does his silence mean surrender?

Does his prayer ask for peace, forgiveness or justice? 

We got into business immediately when he came back. 

He does not want any other arrangement. 

What he asked fo he wants to pay. 

Oh Johnny!

Musing 83

I know that college education is not bringing capable people to the workplace. 

It is because college degree is not enough. 

We have young people joining the workforce lacking the maturity and life skills.  

I think that some of them think that it is all about fun and doing what they think make them happy. 

Hakuna Matata is not bad or wrong but is not always real. 

8 two

Raising a child into this modern world is perplexing. The needs are no longer simple. The values they will be exposed to are very materialistic. There is progress and yet there's decay. 

Now they just tell you to be happy. To do what makes you happy. Isn't that scary? How about some advocacy that will strengthen the adversity quotient? 

A person who seeks his own happiness must at first learn the value of commitment, resilience, devotion, discipline. 

I hope that we protect every child from the notion of entitlement without responsibiliy, of gratification without the wait, of health over vice.., by first showing them how. 

# 8 one

God is truly great. Gave me everything. 

 Some pain, some gain, sunshine, rain. 

He listens to my prayers 

And gives me what will make me strong as I pray for comfort. 

When I ask for safety for my loved ones and all the helpless children,

He shows me that they can protect themselves if there's no one who will,

And when they get hurt, He makes me see how He has given them the power to heal. 

There's one prayer He has been quiet about.  

A secret longing. 

A wish that my heart makes. 

He wants me to go over and over again, a lesson that I need to learn.  He won't show me how. 

Or so my impatient nature dictates

When perhaps all He wants is for me to take the lead or to be quiet, or fierce, or 

Be more patient or devoted. 

Neither of which i do not like. 

He knows. 

War on Peace

H

How far should you go to have peace? 

Far. 

Cost not counted. 

For peace nourishes our soul. 

It is therefore worth all the investment. 

Stay away from noise. 

Noise coming from outside. The kind of noise that does not even change anything for good.  

Stay away from your own prejudices and negativity. 

Stay closer to nature. To endeavors that enrich and nourish. 

Be brave for you can't make everybody happy. 

Rely on your goodness and ability to make you happy and find joy in discoveries: big or small. 

Don't let your accomplishments weigh you down or a false sense of self imprison you in  a castle made of sand. 

Your standards are not everybody's.  At the most, you can share your thoughts, you can mentor, you can teach but seek not to control. Rather seek to be able to give alternatives and options. 

Peace is elusive and it challenges us to chase it but it also does hover and wait till we are ready to claim it or pick it like a ripe fruit. 

If i have to find another branch to perch

I will.  Seek your peace and hope to find it. 

Live fiercely.  Peace should not be weak or ignorant. Not even lazy.  Not always kind. 

War on Peace

How far should you go to have peace? 

Far. 

Cost not counted. 

For peace nourishes our soul. 

It is therefore worth all the investment. 

Stay away from noise. 

Noise coming from outside. The kind of noise that does not even change anything for good.  

Stay away from your own prejudices and negativity. 

Stay closer to nature. To endeavors that enrich and nourish. 

Be brave for you can't make everybody happy. 

Rely on your goodness and ability to make you happy and find joy in discoveries: big or small. 

Don't let your accomplishments weigh you down or a false sense of self imprison you in  a castle made of sand. 

Your standards are not everybody's.  At the most, you can share your thoughts, you can mentor, you can teach but seek not to control. Rather seek to be able to give alternatives and options. 

Peace is elusive and it challenges us to chase it but it also does hover and waits till we are ready to claim it or pick it like a ripe fruit. 

If i have to find another branch to perch

I will.  Seek your peace and hope to find it. 

Live fiercely.  Peace should not be weak or ignorant. Not even lazy.  Not always kind. 

Afternoon Reverie

This is Sunday afternoon. I go easy on this day. I had left over potato chips and scraped the nutella jar of whatever is left.  

A sip of cola would be nice. I discovered  a half bottle of P Max hidden behind some boxes in the pantry.  I hurried to fix some ice in a glass. 

No Pepsi Max. Gone from where it was hidden. 

Not good!  He's been drinking. Bad. Bad boy. 

That's the usual reaction. But i am changing it to he loves me so. He will not let my lips touch a drop of that poison.  he will drink all the poison he can find in this world to save his Juliet. Oh my Romeo! Your love is greater than the ocean. 

Turmeric tea it is then. 

My reverie was disrupted by my pan de coco Lucy and My heart  smiled thinking that she will make a nice Ate. 

Over Fried Bananas

I was musing on something and then the phone died on me.  Just when I was ending it. 

Coming back after a short walk to where a soapmaking workshop was happening, 

I checked my phone and it has been restored to life. 

As i remember writing, how can a house be filled with joy on a Saturday morning and not have a heart attack? The gremlins were sharing their secret recipes on how to make ice pops.  Jose was carefully discerning who's smarter: grandma or grandpa.  

Time steals away innocence and the purity of childhood. There is no way to bust that crime. 

I don't even have to deal with the bed soaked in pee nor have to bring them to the toilet anymore. They just call when the deed committed is over. 

According to Ingkong Justo, so as not make people grow old, the children should not eat so that they won't grow. When they grow up, parents grow old!!  When people grow old, they die.

How can we make a room collect all the memories of precious steps or walls to automatically store these in its archives? And when you touch it, everything can be replayed!

A house is more than a home

Do you think our houses wait for us when we are away? 

I guess it is the most loyal of all our relations and possessions. In my case it is. It will definitely not walk away or walk out. 

You leave it and it will be there when you get back. 

Or am i viewing it the other way around? Does my house think that I am the most loyal of all its possessions because I always go 'home'? Regardless of its condition when i leave, i still go back to it. 

Unconditionally it accepts me in all my forms and tantrums.  The only complaint that perhaps I would hear is when the doors start to creak because of neglect or when the ceiling's paint start to fall like snowflakes. 

I came home after a day out today and it's still on #133.  Dark inside and pleased to have my warm body. Homes do need company. 

Draw a line

Decency will tell us if we are true to what we believe in or not. Decency will teach us to own up to mistakes. Decency says that we don't even think that others are below us. Decency knows that we are not perfect but blame no one if we are not. 

Decency allows us to discern carefully our situation and not to be quick to engage in  self preserving acts and instant gratification. 

Otherwise, we lose our bearing. 

What we sometimes don't know about us

Some people don't grow up. 

Some don't move on. 

Some don't learn. 

Others hibernate. 

A few would rather live editing stuff that's true about their lives. 

Sometimes, they don't want to hear the truth. 

Sadly too, they blame. 

Some don't speak up or talk too much or think they are always right.  Others make up stuff. 

Some are too afraid. Or too daring.  

Sometimes we are all of these people, a little bit of crazy and sane all in one. 

Pessimists, optimists, introverts, extroverts, endomorphs, ectomorphs, or whatever stuff we are all made of - things we like or don't like about us let's toast! 

To life. 

To life. 

To you. 

To me. 

Cheers!

A Recipe for Taking Charge

While sipping this beautiful tea. 

My guests asked me this morning when children outgrow telling on each other or making sumbong. 

Once they are in charge of their affairs. 

When?

It depends. Jacob at 8 is no longer concerned about little things.  

They will learn to settle their differences which can be between the range of fancy to absurd when adults encourage them to decide and find solutions to little disagreements. First is helping them to break the problem or issue into small parts. Fleshing it out for them at first helps them to eliminate big and small stuff to real stuff. It helps them to analyze as well, etc etc etc. 

My final word to my grandchildren and when one has a drama is more of a lesson on quality time.  If there's no real issue,  try to settle things, or decide to choose to continue the fun over moping or nit picking.  Or ruin your day completely.  

Best is to give them the sweet ultimatum.  

"We go in ten minutes".

They choose. 

My State of Affairs

Here is the front door where wild ferns are growing. They will just be there until they tire of invading. 

This is my prancing reindeer topiary. But look, the antlers are like elephant ears now.  It needs pruning and re shaping. Calling Edward! Not you. The one with scissorhands. 

The newest addition is a grand piano from the grand lady who recently moved on to another dimension. It needs repair and tender loving care.  This was passed on to her youngest daughter now to my son's first child, Lucy. 

An empty breakfast table. In a few minutes, the pack will all be coming. I am cooking torta, tinapa, and fried bananas. 

Blessings to all. I am on a holiday. 

For Adults Only

Here is a first born son who for the longest time was his mother's right hand. 

Of course he was indulged. Indulged to have had his mother around for 88 years.

He never knew how it is to not to visit her and bring her her favorite fish from the market  week after week until she got mad and told him to stop. Who is he going to annoy now?

Then when she was already weak and sick, he would bring native pinipig suman every Sunday because she liked it. She just stopped eating them one day but he still kept bringing her the same fare.

How is he?

Maybe he is taking it in stride for after all her mom had lived a full life. He played her favorite records for a day then everything seems to be back to normal. 

But I can never tell. What he is going through now that his main connection to his existence is gone, is very personal and private.  Something I cannot fully enter but curious anyhow.  When someone locks the door, you want to know what's going on and you want to be a peeping Tom.   As i am a curious cat, i better be careful. One does not know how deep a quiet river is. 

What goes on in the mind of an old person who lost a parent?  Of course life goes on. He sees his sisters quite regularly in their old house. I would not be a fine substitute because after all, we are not even related. I am glad he can seek them on things that only siblings will understand.   I also do the same. 

I miss the grand lady of the family. She's not mine but she was a reason why I behaved!   And i also miss her for my husband. 

I also entertained the thought that i will return his son to her someday but I should have done that earlier.  I lost my chance. He lost his chance to ship me back to my Mom 30 years ago. 

Peace Mom. Just entertaining myself. 

Doctorate on Divestiture

I am in Autumn. Divestment. Detachment.  Purging. Sharing my valuables now that I can still choose with what to do with my material possessions and who to give them to. 

This is step 1 of my next 20 years. 

And the first step could even take a lifetime of letting go and backsliding. 

I want to travel light and just carry my soul around and anywhere I choose to go.  When I mused about how much we accumulate in our lifetime, it did actually feel like the boat is sinking. 

My collection of baskets had to go. I decided that I will just take photos of what I want to buy or possess. 

I am trying to stick to basic clothes for work, for fun and a few pieces for gorgeousness. I still have to dress up for the school. My students like it when I am pretty especially when I rock!! But will keep most for my #funnygirls when they grow up. 

What happens to the trinkets most every girl possess? There is not enough arms, neck and fingers for all of them!!  Lucky me!  I have 70 fingers, 7 necks and 14 arms!!! 

I understand why my mother was a minimalist. She could have had more if she wanted but chose to have orchids instead and poetry, formulas and wisdom on her head, instead of a crown.  She only had one ring and wore it everyday. It was a half eternity of diamonds in rose gold given to her by my father on their wedding day.  

I am going to work on The First Step and be at it for the rest of my days. I will let you know if and when I complete my doctorate degree on divestiture and detachment. 

I learned so much these last 14 days after a relative fell ill. There's too much stuff. And i will take over where i want my stuff should go.  Diamonds, gold, silver should really go back to earth where they originally  belong but of course they are good investments. 

Today, i promise to travel. To travel light. That is Step 2. And i don't intend to be boring.  Among all my other exciting plans, I seriously will be divesting fats and seriously have a bikini body! 

Wanna join me?  Thats when I get to Summer. 

The next 2 decades

That we are all terminal by nature... That others have a longer shelf life while others have shorter.  Perishables, that's what we all are until we move on to the next level. 

That some of us have factory defects while others were perfectly crafted and manufactured. 

That what we do with the days of our life is what's more important than the countless vanities that we are all prone to have. 

I have been thinking that if I do things that make me happy, will that be all? 

Thoughts and brushstrokes

Musings should not take up much of your time otherwise you end up daydreaming and when you have other things to do, it becomes a distraction.

I write my musings in less than 20 minutes dailly. 

The convenience of iphone allows me to write anytime, anywhere.

An alternative to writing is painting.  A quick one is almost like my 20-minute writing. 

It is not as handy or as spontaneous as writing though where a phone is enough.  

Painting requires more. 

I painted while it rained today.  And normally a quick one is a product of images overlapping or connecting with each other. The process is different from musing. A stroke can be a hundred words or the entire painting can be summed up with a word or a phrase. 

Maria

Ito ang Nanay ko. Napakaganda nya, matangkad, balingkinitan, at isang babaeng ika nga nila ay ahead of her time. Pharmacist. Nag aral sa UP. Napaka talino. Scientist at romantik. Minimalist. Practical. Mapagmahal na ina. Kakampi. Warrior.  Naiiyak na ako. Tama na... 

Happy birthday Mommy!

Existing Fiercely and Softly

This is a very serious musing theough a painting as i found no words to write all the layers of my existence. Today is also Mary's birthday. She could have been 94 today. 

My mother was not one who said many words even when angry but would when very very angry but she showed without the drama all the things that I see myself doing except that she is radically simple and frugal, hard working and uber intelligent!  

And today is Father's day too. And layers of my existence are lessons in life, discipline and honor that i attribute to both of them. 

I have layers for the Father and real life hero of my children - my prince charming and ex bf in red socks and my 2 sons and son-in- law who are outdoing all the greatness of parenting they too received earlier in life and presently still if i may so. 

Cheers to all that were and are and will be! 

Raising children sitting down

After all, when we can't reach something, we use extenders:  a long pole, a stool, a ladder or a willing pair of shoulders - or cable cars to reach the other mountain sitting down.

I had an aunt we called Kaka.  Beautiful woman with a big heart and bosom that offered comfort when my mother was away. The oldest sister of my mom.  She took everything sitting down - literally and figuratively. 

We were her extension and so her pair of canes too. She was my mom's extension. She was our miracle. 

You would think that a person with a pair of shrunken and crippled legs would have no use to the world?  They have hearts too and eyes and hands and a voice.

So she raised us when our parents were away.  She raised me more than she raised my siblings who came before me.  It was in the year that I was born when all things good and abundant kept my parents away from home making sure that they take care of the business.  My youngest brother became her beloved as well.

I learned to sweep the floor through her.  She cooked for us while she sang.  She taught us how to be compassionate and forgiving and tender and to appreciate beauty.  And taught us independence.  And she was never bitter.  We knew the songs of the 50's through her.

My eldest brother used to say:  " I will look for a girl with the beauty of Mommy and the heart of Kaka." 

My confidante growing up and my critique too.  I spent summer afternoons with her pulling a few strands of gray hair while she listened to my endless stories.

My older sister had my mother's youngest sister as fairy godmother and gained all favors from her.   I was my Kaka's little girl and mentee who climbed trees and ran around and jumped, knelt while I ate, had frog's legs while she did not and could not be what I could and I am with my legs.  She showed me how while sitting down. 

How my mom loved her too!

Another Ant Day

After a birthday getog celebrating the roundedness of a six year old ant, the laziest and coolest in this story house, this is what looks like from outside this morning. 

Husband ant Daddy Lloyd leaves the house at 6 while wife ant Mommy Ana is giving her mommy words to the 3 ants. Busy day ahead, as usual for the ant residents. 

It is a quiet start and promises of return with some pasalubong.  

Just like in all anthomes, the story goes day after day, rain or shine. 

Complete and final reveal of all BF's

BF 3 comes with his wife whenever we have a date. This bf is so loving. The others were but i have some doubts about bf4. He is coming anytime to boss me around! You know how it is to be very young and the focus is about making the dough. Many things to buy like the nice shorts and shirts maybe but he is ok. 

BF3 looks like the guy who loved the girl loved by a vampire in a series of movies i don't remember the name except that he is darker.   Oh! Twilight Saga. So this Lautnerish look-alike was a constant for 2 years bringing me back to a fully functioning arm. 

He is a very dedicated guy and earned the approval of my awesome pt of a brother. 

He pulled and tugged at the rigid and limp arm and shoulder till maybe the ligaments and tendons bled to produce pliable and soft ones. Pulled and pressed and kneaded. 

His wife would be there to assist and slap him when i grimaced. That was some tough loving he gave me. I almost gave up. 

Till this day, he asks about my shoulder. He will perhaps get hurt if he finds out that there's bf4 who took his place to build my hips and connectors. 

He is busy that is why. He can't give me the time that it demands. Well he is a bouncer these days I heard. Pretty tough and strong I must say. 

I am very grateful to all the bf 1-4. Also to other Bf who helped me in the early years of my school computerizing my newsletters and believing in what I do. 

A more recent one, is a genius whose codes helped set up a system in my offices. There was even a young director who is so famous and award-winning who made a movie about my school! I have boyfriends who tend my garden and share beautiful flowers and give me vegetables. I have one who drives me to where I need to be and one who helps me build and make things and one who I met at a printing shop and did all my calendars, printed totes and pillow cases.   Plenty. They all come in different shapes and sizes! No green joke here. Hahahaha!!

But I only have one I married. This guy is complicated! He is as deadly as diabetes and as stubborn as a mule! 

So don't marry your boyfriend. They are better off without the ring!  Wahahahahaha!!  Have more than one. They won't mind. We should have others who come and go.  

End of the BoyFriend series. 

Raising a bright and exciting child

Paula Capanas was a HEDCen Student and a happiness guru

Pls dont buy your kids i phones, i pads and the like. Not yet.

Please get them things they can build. 

Please make them watch the rain too. 

Pls make them sweat chasing each other   

Please teach them to listen to adults and abide by rules fir their safety. 

Please make things for them. 

Please tell them stories from your own experiences. 

Please teach them how to smile  

And show them how to take care of fragile and delicate things

And eat vegetables

And wash their feet...
wash their hands

and gargle in the morning...

The Boat is Sinking 3: the art of collecting

Bags or baskets?  My pet peeve are baskets.  Can I just stick to one?  This is terrible.  I don't have much but I think that I have more than what I need!  I wonder how my mil managed all her bags without ado!  I don't know how to do that.  I always feel guilty of having more.  But sometimes they are too pretty to ignore and refuse. 

My mom in law (God rest her soul) had each bag with a tube of lipstick, a fan, a key chain with tiny scissors, nail cutter, silver ear cleaner and cute trinkets.  There's a rosary, hankies, cotton buds, band aid, compact powder, mirror, matches, toothpicks and even a scarf!  She is unbelievable!!  Color coded bags and accessories were not in my imagination before.  Yet, these are all essentials.  Maybe being a guerilla, a girl scout, a neat-freak and an elegant woman made her come up with a disaster kit in Prada, Loubotin, Chanel, etc.  She had a fancy bag made by prisoners and it was very elegant with green things inside.  When her daughters started to manage the distribution of her personal stuff, I was given a buff leather bag from France with all the girly stuff in it. 

I have always wanted a not too complicated closet.  But a girl is a girl!  And I thought that when my things won't fit my aparador anymore, then I have too much and God knows that it has always been a problem thinking where to put stuff and  when to use them.

The difference between Mommy Eli and me is that she is a collector by nature.  I use my things.  She preserves.  She admires them all.  I get tired of my possesions.  She nurtures each of them.  Maybe Ana takes after her Lola.  She has all her trinkets neatly lined up while mine would end up in knots and tangles.


Hay Naku!

the boat is sinking part 2: ruminations

In my mind, I have a few things in my closet and have emptied quite considerably.  Virtually setting aside clothes that no longer fit me: by size and by age.  Realistically speaking, last Christmas, I gifted my staff clothes I labelled "sweet partings from my closet: chosen and loved".  They, I mean my staff came in all sizes and all the clothes I gave away fitted me but also fitted them!  They wore these clothes from my collection on special occasions and proudly, one day, all them came to work wearing the clothes I gave them.  (I would be shy to give them something I have worn more than 3 times as I would not want to be discovered through my scent.... or odour for that matter!) 

Seated on my wicker chair for sharing again with my staff are clothes by Marni, DKNY, Zara, French Collection.  They were bought for 250-350 pesos from my "suki" at the Sunday Market.  These are surplus clothes from different sources but what interested me most was when I found out that there are actually people who buy clothes they will never wear!!!  Thanks to them! We scavengers get the pleasure of wearing  excellently constructed and designed clothes.

Marni clothes, I learned from my diggings, are always  very simply presented in neutrals but the engineering of their folds and cuts are geniusly constructed.  My daughter-in-law, Marie loves this brand.  I have gotten several for her and they look elegant when worn on elegant occasions and dressed down and nonchalant when donned on hippy and casual affairs.  Such practical find! 

Tsumori Chisanto is I think a contemporary designer for modernly surreal people.  Mermaids, starfishes, cats in watercolor effect with stitchings and very exciting and playful details.  I collected them for a while.  I have hardly anything left in my closet.  I bought and sold for the same price.

Why not?  I enjoyed pulling them out of the racks and it gives me so much satisfaction seeing other people on budget wear something as gorgeous as these labels!  Some teachers are afraid to try but the league of young and daring ones are not.  Daring but not revealing.  Daring because it is not mainstreamed.

So I think I have had enough of this phase.  I am no longer used to buying clothes beyond 300 pesos but I have now gone back to having some clothes custom-made by an dear friend, a sister I may consider, a banker who is extra perceptive and a dress shop owner too!!! Nakakainggit!!  I wanted to own a dress boutique before if not a sari-sari store or a candy store. 

So she made me several clothes, two I wore in  my school's graduations, the other in my mom-in-laws funeral.  Far from my hippie and flower-child image, these dresses make me look "put-together" in classic fabric. 

I will be keeping them till I slim down or fat up.  No way my Php250.00 Alexander Mqueen will go too.  It does not fit me nicely but i am keeping it for the marvelous bird! 

Aren't clothes issues just as disconcerting as national issues.  lol!

The Boat is Sinking part 1

What can i unload?

Materially, I can do with less. 

Maybe I will start with my closet. 

Not much with value but i would like to lessen choices. Something like a basic set that i can live with, paint with, go to Hedcen with, and go around with on busy days and when holiday-ing. 

Which means that I will have to choose the one I really love and am comfortable in. This is very true. 

How can having plenty of  " borloloys" or trinkets be wrong?  They occupy very little space but the ones that are always eliminated when dressing up or down will have to go. Poor things, they can be someone else's favorite. 

Shoes to go too? I think that i am okay in that department. For as long as my in laws don't give or I don't buy, i am doing good. 

How about bags? This is tricky and difficult!! 

Maybe to be continued. Time is up. 

A tip on how we can live everyday

a working list on things we take for granted

Some things we take for granted:

time

mornings

evenings

rain

sunlight

moonbeams

breeze

health

helping hands

loving hands

your mother

your father

time

life

love

reminders

memories

time

dreams

Bf4

Bf4 looks like a Mayan warrior. We just started. One month of training that is also like an on and off thing. He is persistent and quite strict. He gives no mercy. Side planks till my elbows hurt. I guess he was nervous at first but gave out a laugh when I told him that he was cheating with time. Why do 20seconds seem like an hour? 

Today he accused me of eating a lot while i could not make it to our training. And even suspected that I ate junk food! How could he tell? 

This bf4 is very young. I like his shorts and his shirts and he comes to the house in color coded rubber shoes. 

My Bf1, the one who looks like Shrek with his big bald head dressed well too. On his first day, he came wearing a white shawl with fringes like a dalai lama. He is a neat freak. Will blow and wipe dust and ants on the floor before a session started. 

Bf2 is more casual and comes looking very organic and earth friendly. We would have our yoga and tai chi in open air, on grass and even areas with hardly any grass. 

Bf3 is wondering how my shoulders are. Let's see if he can come for my hips. 

Choices

   Waking up on the right side of the bed

I am deciding on whether i am going to work today or not. 

I realized that I just finished a week's dosage of anitibiotics when suddenly i felt a general malaise and tenderness in my muscles as well as gnawing pains in my extremities at night.  Such is what happens to me when I take this 'medicine'. 

Regardless, yesterday, without wearing my healing pearls, i still had a great time in the Sunday Market.  My friend Uan never fails to cheer me up. 

There she strung these blue sapphires for me. 

And when I woke up this morning from a restless sleep last night, I slicked Russian Red on my lips, a loving gift from Spam in my last birthday. I

Oh yes, you can transcend some discomfort with a positive and sometimes crazy mind and by keeping warm with some oreos and milk. 

I am now choosing which of these natural soaps from  Bodyfood I will use in my bath for the rest of the week and of course massaging my pain away with my indispensable elemi serum. 

My favorite serum is great for pain as well as for waking up a sleepy driver. 

Wondering now why people listen to their favorite music loud enough to share with an entire barangay.  Drowning their own pain? Loneliness? 

Now i am more forgiving. 

Momentum

Thinking of how many creatives are not doing anything except to avoid their art. 

Could it be that for some, tiny inspirations build up like a carbuncle swelling with blood and pus, erupts then an art is born? 

Some just dry up inside, and never result to anything. 

As I look at the view on my wall, i feel guilty for doing other things except paint. 

I am hoarding paper. I hope I can stop and start painting away!!

Curious Cat

When you are a curious cat, you can really get into all kinds of trouble or stumble upon a gold mine. 

A gold mine for me is a heap of ideas, wild, crazy and unimaginable. 

A curious cat does not choose where she would  poke her nose into.  If you are choosy, you are not a curious one. 

Curios cats play with luck. But that's how cats are like.