#95 cat meowsings: pest or pet?

I had cats when I was a little girl. One would wake me up in the mornings by tapping me lightly on the head. If that did not work it played with my hair. She climbed the caimito tree from the kitchen to the roof, then would jump into the window of my bedroom, then find its way under my mosquito net. 

Cats die when someone gets sick very bad. I had a dozen. When my father superman had his surgery, a few days later ALL of dem cats died one after another. No poison. No wounds. Daddy recovered. 12 cats to save him! I only needed one! 

I grew up with black cats too. Black luck? No way. When my sister moved from quezon city to las Piñas, her black cat was found gripping the chassis under the truck that transported all their appliances and accoutrements, lest she would be left behind in Matatag St. 

This is the root of my belief that cats are sensient beings and always suspiscious. 

Having cats also turmed me into the best sniffing catspoo locator finding every source of this disturbing odour that comes from their deadly excrements!! That is why I didn't like cats anymore!

I had enough cats in my lifetime to write many stories and muse about.  

Burma was an unforgettable character and beauty. Maruja was a closet queen because we were all duped in believing that he was a girl!! Ming shwe, Putol... And another cat i would give this chewy batangas kalamay to, to keep it away from the table for a long time. 

Then one day, I decided that I was a lonely girl... So I got myself a cat after many years that I already banned cats because of this one reason why i dont like cats anymore. 

This Marmalade is as wild as the civets in our neighboring forest. But she's getting sweeter and cuddlier and I am not a fan of that. I like her wild and cold and suspicious. But i trained her not to bother my canaries and to stop jumping after birds. So she is ok. After all, she only has 2 guiding principles in life:  "i likes" or "i don't cares... a damn". 

94: the magic of rain

The rain is bringing us back what summer took away. 

Suddenly, life is teeming in my garden. 

Greens are sprouting and hundreds of birds on trees. 

The river too is gushing with excitement. Water! Hallelujah! It seems to gurgle. There's more water to push the debris that summer left on its bank and rocks. 

The forest is fertile and saplings are trying to outdo each other in its race which one grows faster and stronger. This biome is strangely trying to build its reinforcements with more vines holding the trees' branches for support. 

Anytime, the frogmouth will be back on its perch again. Same branch. Same tree. Same season. 

I will be constantly at awe.  

92: I can't believe you are 24 HEDCen!

I was not aware that this was going to happen:
to give birth to you at the time I could not even afford to.
I did not even know that I was pregnant!

Pregnant in my head that is.
I kept dreaming that I was going to have another baby after my third child.
I thought that I was delusional because the OB said no more babies for me.

So I kept dreaming that I was pregnant and all the signs of pregnancy I went through
in my dreams.

Vitty was 11 when I had you.
One night of labor to draw and imagine you.
Then on July 1, 1992
You were born.

If you were a human baby, you would be androgynous
but you are not human.
You are a vessel.

Yet I treated you like my fourth child
and together with the entire family
we welcomed you and 11 children on July 1, 1992.

No grand illusions
We just did what should be done.
a classroom without walls and windows, not even a door.

The rest is history.
You never fail to amaze me.
You are not my work alone.
You are His work for I do not know anything.

So I thank God that The Little Farmhouse is now a ranch as I would be joked by friends.
You are also known as HEDCen!
The mighty HEDCen a.k.a "Holy Stick!"
A pun unintended from the boys you have encoutered in soccer!

Body, mind and spirit.
Our work is never done.

As I have grown old, I may be the mother
but I guess, that the continuation of this "epic" is now in collaboration
with the trusted faculty.

you even have your own children now.
Ana and Juaqui are dedicating their gifts to continue and to enrich, to further innovate and polish.
Our past students are coming back to teach.

So I am a grandmother.
Five of my grandchildren are in your classrooms or
they would not be if you were not great enough!


All schools need a grandmother.
And my role has shifted to be the doter, the unconditional lover.
 

Thanking all of you who have been part of TWENTY FOUR years!

More to come! great and small!
Let's build a better world for all!

KJ? JC?

Life is funny! Humorous! Hilarious! 

We carry a child in our womb and we are too serious! Aren't we laughable walking around looking like we swallowed a round watermelon?  If it's a girl, they say stomach is round.  And there are elongated watermelons. It's a boy we will have if we look like we swallowed an elongated watermelon!

Even sex is funny. You should see your faces!!!  

And when we are dying and it is portrayed by actors,  take out the drama, it can be funny. Take a look at children dramatizing death or dying, it is hilarious!! 

And if it is not funny, because life is a lemon when it sucks-  you can try JC. He is not KJ. 

When I asked to let me see my mother again (she was my age when she died) i dreamed that she rose from the grave and scared me!!  Ridiculous prayers get ridiculous answers!! And He will not run out of ways to meet us where we are. 

I prayed long ago to fix me, to overhaul me when I was terminally jealous and bereft of confidence. And He did something that up to now, my siblings still rotfl!  

KJ si JC? Nah!!!!

You want to know?? Hahahaha!!!

Buy a box of notecards to help build a classroom.  Two if you want to find out about my "almost affairs"!  

The photo above is my cat LOL!

Ramil's heart

Ramil has little children and a vicious wife.  (How do you spell vicious?)

But he is kind and gentle. 

What could he be thinking?

His wife wants him to mind the kids while she goes ranting about life and about the lack of money.  Yet she wants him home. 

What is a poor man's diet?  Very little and a bonus is perhaps a wife beside him. 

There is not much food to fill one's stomach to make a difference in size after a meal but so much room to accommodate a stray cat i asked him to throw because it massacred my hamsters and my birds. 

He brought home a puppy nobody wanted. 

There is always a room in his palace. 

Shame shame on me. 

Oh Johnny oh!

His son died 2 weeks ago. He was forlorn. He went home to the province to bury him. He was back right after. His face was more gaunt than before and his eyes sadder. 

What could Johnny be thinking? 

Does a poor man hurt more?

Does he blame more than the one who has the means?

Does his silence mean surrender?

Does his prayer ask for peace, forgiveness or justice? 

We got into business immediately when he came back. 

He does not want any other arrangement. 

What he asked fo he wants to pay. 

Oh Johnny!

8 two

Raising a child into this modern world is perplexing. The needs are no longer simple. The values they will be exposed to are very materialistic. There is progress and yet there's decay. 

Now they just tell you to be happy. To do what makes you happy. Isn't that scary? How about some advocacy that will strengthen the adversity quotient? 

A person who seeks his own happiness must at first learn the value of commitment, resilience, devotion, discipline. 

I hope that we protect every child from the notion of entitlement without responsibiliy, of gratification without the wait, of health over vice.., by first showing them how. 

# 8 one

God is truly great. Gave me everything. 

 Some pain, some gain, sunshine, rain. 

He listens to my prayers 

And gives me what will make me strong as I pray for comfort. 

When I ask for safety for my loved ones and all the helpless children,

He shows me that they can protect themselves if there's no one who will,

And when they get hurt, He makes me see how He has given them the power to heal. 

There's one prayer He has been quiet about.  

A secret longing. 

A wish that my heart makes. 

He wants me to go over and over again, a lesson that I need to learn.  He won't show me how. 

Or so my impatient nature dictates

When perhaps all He wants is for me to take the lead or to be quiet, or fierce, or 

Be more patient or devoted. 

Neither of which i do not like. 

He knows. 

A house is more than a home

Do you think our houses wait for us when we are away? 

I guess it is the most loyal of all our relations and possessions. In my case it is. It will definitely not walk away or walk out. 

You leave it and it will be there when you get back. 

Or am i viewing it the other way around? Does my house think that I am the most loyal of all its possessions because I always go 'home'? Regardless of its condition when i leave, i still go back to it. 

Unconditionally it accepts me in all my forms and tantrums.  The only complaint that perhaps I would hear is when the doors start to creak because of neglect or when the ceiling's paint start to fall like snowflakes. 

I came home after a day out today and it's still on #133.  Dark inside and pleased to have my warm body. Homes do need company. 

What we sometimes don't know about us

Some people don't grow up. 

Some don't move on. 

Some don't learn. 

Others hibernate. 

A few would rather live editing stuff that's true about their lives. 

Sometimes, they don't want to hear the truth. 

Sadly too, they blame. 

Some don't speak up or talk too much or think they are always right.  Others make up stuff. 

Some are too afraid. Or too daring.  

Sometimes we are all of these people, a little bit of crazy and sane all in one. 

Pessimists, optimists, introverts, extroverts, endomorphs, ectomorphs, or whatever stuff we are all made of - things we like or don't like about us let's toast! 

To life. 

To life. 

To you. 

To me. 

Cheers!

The next 2 decades

That we are all terminal by nature... That others have a longer shelf life while others have shorter.  Perishables, that's what we all are until we move on to the next level. 

That some of us have factory defects while others were perfectly crafted and manufactured. 

That what we do with the days of our life is what's more important than the countless vanities that we are all prone to have. 

I have been thinking that if I do things that make me happy, will that be all? 

Complete and final reveal of all BF's

BF 3 comes with his wife whenever we have a date. This bf is so loving. The others were but i have some doubts about bf4. He is coming anytime to boss me around! You know how it is to be very young and the focus is about making the dough. Many things to buy like the nice shorts and shirts maybe but he is ok. 

BF3 looks like the guy who loved the girl loved by a vampire in a series of movies i don't remember the name except that he is darker.   Oh! Twilight Saga. So this Lautnerish look-alike was a constant for 2 years bringing me back to a fully functioning arm. 

He is a very dedicated guy and earned the approval of my awesome pt of a brother. 

He pulled and tugged at the rigid and limp arm and shoulder till maybe the ligaments and tendons bled to produce pliable and soft ones. Pulled and pressed and kneaded. 

His wife would be there to assist and slap him when i grimaced. That was some tough loving he gave me. I almost gave up. 

Till this day, he asks about my shoulder. He will perhaps get hurt if he finds out that there's bf4 who took his place to build my hips and connectors. 

He is busy that is why. He can't give me the time that it demands. Well he is a bouncer these days I heard. Pretty tough and strong I must say. 

I am very grateful to all the bf 1-4. Also to other Bf who helped me in the early years of my school computerizing my newsletters and believing in what I do. 

A more recent one, is a genius whose codes helped set up a system in my offices. There was even a young director who is so famous and award-winning who made a movie about my school! I have boyfriends who tend my garden and share beautiful flowers and give me vegetables. I have one who drives me to where I need to be and one who helps me build and make things and one who I met at a printing shop and did all my calendars, printed totes and pillow cases.   Plenty. They all come in different shapes and sizes! No green joke here. Hahahaha!!

But I only have one I married. This guy is complicated! He is as deadly as diabetes and as stubborn as a mule! 

So don't marry your boyfriend. They are better off without the ring!  Wahahahahaha!!  Have more than one. They won't mind. We should have others who come and go.  

End of the BoyFriend series. 

The Boat is Sinking 3: the art of collecting

Bags or baskets?  My pet peeve are baskets.  Can I just stick to one?  This is terrible.  I don't have much but I think that I have more than what I need!  I wonder how my mil managed all her bags without ado!  I don't know how to do that.  I always feel guilty of having more.  But sometimes they are too pretty to ignore and refuse. 

My mom in law (God rest her soul) had each bag with a tube of lipstick, a fan, a key chain with tiny scissors, nail cutter, silver ear cleaner and cute trinkets.  There's a rosary, hankies, cotton buds, band aid, compact powder, mirror, matches, toothpicks and even a scarf!  She is unbelievable!!  Color coded bags and accessories were not in my imagination before.  Yet, these are all essentials.  Maybe being a guerilla, a girl scout, a neat-freak and an elegant woman made her come up with a disaster kit in Prada, Loubotin, Chanel, etc.  She had a fancy bag made by prisoners and it was very elegant with green things inside.  When her daughters started to manage the distribution of her personal stuff, I was given a buff leather bag from France with all the girly stuff in it. 

I have always wanted a not too complicated closet.  But a girl is a girl!  And I thought that when my things won't fit my aparador anymore, then I have too much and God knows that it has always been a problem thinking where to put stuff and  when to use them.

The difference between Mommy Eli and me is that she is a collector by nature.  I use my things.  She preserves.  She admires them all.  I get tired of my possesions.  She nurtures each of them.  Maybe Ana takes after her Lola.  She has all her trinkets neatly lined up while mine would end up in knots and tangles.


Hay Naku!

A tip on how we can live everyday

Choices

   Waking up on the right side of the bed

I am deciding on whether i am going to work today or not. 

I realized that I just finished a week's dosage of anitibiotics when suddenly i felt a general malaise and tenderness in my muscles as well as gnawing pains in my extremities at night.  Such is what happens to me when I take this 'medicine'. 

Regardless, yesterday, without wearing my healing pearls, i still had a great time in the Sunday Market.  My friend Uan never fails to cheer me up. 

There she strung these blue sapphires for me. 

And when I woke up this morning from a restless sleep last night, I slicked Russian Red on my lips, a loving gift from Spam in my last birthday. I

Oh yes, you can transcend some discomfort with a positive and sometimes crazy mind and by keeping warm with some oreos and milk. 

I am now choosing which of these natural soaps from  Bodyfood I will use in my bath for the rest of the week and of course massaging my pain away with my indispensable elemi serum. 

My favorite serum is great for pain as well as for waking up a sleepy driver. 

Wondering now why people listen to their favorite music loud enough to share with an entire barangay.  Drowning their own pain? Loneliness? 

Now i am more forgiving. 

Momentum

Thinking of how many creatives are not doing anything except to avoid their art. 

Could it be that for some, tiny inspirations build up like a carbuncle swelling with blood and pus, erupts then an art is born? 

Some just dry up inside, and never result to anything. 

As I look at the view on my wall, i feel guilty for doing other things except paint. 

I am hoarding paper. I hope I can stop and start painting away!!

Curious Cat

When you are a curious cat, you can really get into all kinds of trouble or stumble upon a gold mine. 

A gold mine for me is a heap of ideas, wild, crazy and unimaginable. 

A curious cat does not choose where she would  poke her nose into.  If you are choosy, you are not a curious one. 

Curios cats play with luck. But that's how cats are like. 

Operants

      Believe.          Seek.           Discover.    

      

 Create.          Transform.       Laugh.  

       Simplify.   Observe.       Appreciate.   

   

  

 Breathe.         Empty.         Repeat.    

The New Standard of Beauty

Women healers of soul, body and mind are always looking for alternative ways to promote a better way to live and love. 

May they always inspire others as they seek to be inspired and may they take care of this world that needs to be healed. 

May they inspire their men to discover their own gentle nature and to lead without war. 

May they raise their daughters and sons believing in the value of goodness. 

May their beauty shine through in everything they'd choose to embark on. 

May their tribe continue to exist. 

Idle mind wandering

Pauses are little pockets of air time that allow me to mull and ponder over the track i have covered in my life.

Oh it was also bumpy like most people's lives and i suffered from great hurts and disappointments too. In fact when my thought wandered drifted to where i would mostly be mad, i would prick my finger with this dastardly needle! 

My mind wanders then i go back to stitching prayers again.