The Middle Child

What mystery envelops a middle child?
Is he really more complicated than the first and the third?
Born after the first child who became the first experimental baboon to parents who knew little,
the second one was born with a degree of knowledge and experience which the eldest child provided these anxious beginners.

Then why the supposed syndrome?
This child of woe and complication was raised by parents who knew more, whose mastery of the craft of parenting has afforded them less sweaty palms and armpits.
Then why does this child of complexity raise such challenge and concern?

This child is between two siblings.  One taught him the ways while the third showed him how he is stronger and wiser.

He is not ever taken for granted.  He cannot be taken for granted because he will not allow it.  He is either a child who feels persecuted and thinks that nothing he gets is better than the rest, but he is also the offspring who loves the best, who defends his Kuya and who allows his baby brother to treat him like his toy bear.  He cannot be taken for granted because in the same manner that he gives the sweetest love,  he also demands that he is loved like there are no others.

The middle child can be the rainbow and the bright sun but can also be the thunderstorm.   And when he is all thunder and lightning, how he disarms his mother is a gift.

He prefers the villains over the heroes and sees the excitement and challenge over the despised, evil characters and how the heroes can be really boring indeed!

Yet his prayers are the most sensitive and comes out from him as a natural expression of his heart and soul - "dear God, thank you for the sand in the beach" and after he has taken our breath away and melted us in the warmth of such grace,  he'd jolt us all from revery with "thank you for my BAD brother" with a laughter that can only come from a very familiar and easy relationship with the God he knows. 

He boxed a schoolmate the other day, this middle child.  He said he had been forgiven.  Then why do the adults fuss over the incident?  He cried for an hour when he was told by his mother that parents will come the next day to reprimand him for hurting their son.  He had to learn a lesson and the elders were worried except for his grandfather who took him to his lap with so much love.

We do not know what will work but I know that this middle child will sort it out for himself.  Someone's gotta break 'em rules sometimes, and he is curious and daring enough- except that this time, the principal will be called in her very own office!

Maybe his daddy will see the principal.

Why There's Rain

gentle and strong

The adversity quotient is that kind of intelligence that makes men and women survive the most difficult challenges in life and is nipped by mothers, fathers and grandparents who are raising dough but not humen.

Children raised in a very limiting environment grow up with a very limited perspective and very low endurance threshold.  Parents do not realize this, but they are crippling their sons with the wrong kind of love, when children should be falling, tripping, getting dirty, coming home hungry, smelly, running under the sun, getting soaked in the rain, being rejected in a soccer try-out, failing exams, committing mistakes... 

Me: Do we think that being OA (over-acting) or dramatic will earn us the Famas Award or Oscars as the Best Mother in Comedy?

Boys can be taught to clean-up the mess they make, rise after a fall, try again when things do not go as planned and try better if he failed again. They should be taught to solve their problems, communicate, mend the tear in their shirt, sew buttons, plant a garden, raise a pet and be high in music, a job well done, a challenge well fought.  

The father of my children was very patient especially when he was younger :D  when our children needed to be brought to school, to soccer games and to soirees.  He carried my daughter who was very sick then throughout their jeepney commute to the hospital and back, week after week.  He went to market, he cooked and he ran a business.

He cried at my daughter's wedding, built her house, and loved all his grandchildren to a fault.

You:  Maybe that is why he has forgotten all our wedding anniversaries! 

All these did not make him less of a man. 

My father and my brothers were/are men of great accomplishments not only in the careers or vocations they have chosen but even more in their diligence as fathers of their family.  They developed their inner value that is beyond fame and money to that which transcends the ordinary image of a male or macho man.

These men that I have known have faults but they are alright.  They do not abuse women nor do they escape from what is difficult in life.  My sons and son-in-law have even exceeded the bar that the great men in the family have set.  That makes me proud.


These men fell from stairs, from walls, broke their bones, got hungry, were bullied, were poor at one time of their lives, wore broken shoes, smelled flowers, carried their babies, were "men for others", were not always right but were always kind.  They played in the mud, built something from scratch, handled maggot infested horse manure, bore the sweltering heat of the sun and got drenched in the rain.  They stayed in their tasks as well. 


Moral:
  The reason why there are husbands who quit is because they never got wet in the rain.

You:     That's a wild hypothesis.
Me:      But why would some men, fathers, sons and brothers quit their jobs?
You:     Blimey!