Further on my 100th musing: MOLTING

It is an indomitable challenge to let go to weigh less by trimming all that is unnecessary in your life.

Emptying is daunting. And I am afraid. The void is terrifying. Material things and even old ideologies can be addicting. Who will I be after shedding? 

But people move on. We shed skin and new skin grows, we trim our fingernails and they grow back, we cut our hair and it grows long again to whatever length we want, we lose a tooth or more, we lose memory... That's how I know that I move on, and that I am changing.  We lose some but win some with luck. 

 I can imagine the relief to be new once again once you've shed. 

So on this premise, the boss of me approves that i decompress to keep me focused on what is important and what gives me joy. 

93: Como Esta?

The process of letting go of one's accumulated material things is not like a walk in the park. It is a process that is very similar to the art of haggling - internal haggling or bargaining with one's conscience of desire and attachments. 

"...Should I let go no you keep it who gets it they might not value i won't find anything like this again it they will just throw it but it is a memorable piece... Nnnnnnnnoo??? yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyessss!..."  

Saying no is quicker and easier than yes. 

But this ring is staying! 

I have brought out everything in my closet for assessment. I did not have much. Good girl. 

I realize that I have a talent for preserving my valuables well. But just in case i get maimed by the water that I drink or the air I breathe, i parted with my treasures to the ones who are meant to have them. 

My 55 year old terno was given to my eldest granddaughter Sofia. It will be passed on to all the funny girls and they will have a picture of theselves wearing it. 

This froggle shirt was a favorite wear of Ana when she was 2. There's nothing special about it except that it was a beautiful part of my younger days as a first time parent. It goes to Ziva who wore it with an aptitude!

The little worn out baby clothes that all three of mine wore one after another are in a box including a knitted string bikini top of Ana. I won't impose on my daughters in law to keep them for their babies. The contents of this box goes with me. Except for the baby clothes I made. They have been given to Ana for her boys to wear when they were infants. I did impose on my daughter, and well yes... sometimes to Anne and Marie, lol!

I made my office staff very happy with some loot too. An exquisite silk nightgown I never wore but kept because it was a gift, went to our new bride Mrs. B. It is indeed lovelier the second time around for her! And as i saw her face blush, I  knew why I had that nightgown when I am a beaten up shirt/ pyjama kind of girl! I was meant to give it to the person who was meant to have it! 

The other thing to consider when giving your things away is to be considerate.  Don't dump friends, relatives, employees with your "treasures" that are actually meaningless "junk" to them. They should want it. And if I know that the person I am giving my stuff to is already a hoarder, she ain't qualified. 

I am doing my children a favor by deciding now where my small stuff should go. 

Travel light _/ check!  

I hope to stay on track. 

Musing on how I would live the last 20 years of my life... 

Fill your heart or your tummy

I have no difficulty choosing between planting fruit bearing trees or flowering ones as my choice would always be trees for my soul and not for my tummy. 

The balance comes from my husband who will not have second thoughts about his choice to plant trees that make happy tummy. 

All the flowering trees are planted for viewing and so are the farthest from the house while the rambutan trees are outside my kitchen and beside the guest room.  Lime, guavas and calamansi are close by.  

Fire trees are blazing this month and by September, the rambutans will be red and ripe. Fair enough. 

Are Dreams for Keeping?

Today, i wanted to paint flowers around town, on decayed walls, on pavements, on bus stops, train stations, waiting areas, jeepneys, billboards or the sky perhaps. Anywhere people stare blankly or with lots in their minds. Just to shift focus from trouble to hope, from anger to peace, from numbness to life. 

Today i wanted to write my book "myLiFeaSApiTcHEr" and ask Gilda to do the forword. I wanted to find out how much or how little I can share with people whose purpose is to raise people better than themselves. 

This dawn while my eyes were still closed I thought of those and many more till this moment now as I seize what remains of the half asleep-half awake dreams. 

Who are you with in your dreams and when you wake up?  In my case, I found the gremlins beside me and the thick one was even snoring. 

On a Clear Day

There is nothing that the sun will not expose. On a clear day,  one cannot ignore the things that have to be resolved. 

I bring all my concerns under the light to see and feel things more clearly.  Of course, it takes courage to know the truth. 

And it's true that once there is honesty as clear as a bright day, acceptance of whether somethings can be changed or not be changed at all can bring tremendous peace. 

Old concept

Friendship is an old concept. 

That kind that doesn't require standards except for respect, time or recognition.  It does not demand love and affection. It is not jealous. It is as comfortable as sitting nonchalantly on a couch in your house dress as if no one is watching. 

My friends enjoy conversations about dresses, fabric, sisters, salt in diet and growing hips and waistline, among other things. 

Painting by Serena Curmi

Flower breaths

Musings take only a few minutes or seconds just like the breaths we take.